Saturday, November 27, 2010

Love Train Gets Held Up

Last week, I decided to jump aboard the Love Train. And it seemed like an adventure . . . until the hold-up. 

My friends were encouraging me to jump aboard, take the trip. "You've been divorced for about a year. . . you never go out!" 

True. I feel the way about giving up singleness as I do about giving up chocolate.

But I softened. I listened. A date now and then might be nice. Finding my best friend might be even better. I could feel myself getting sucked in, just as I do when I watch a romantic comedy.

Eventually, I mustered up the courage to create a profile, actually 3 profiles, on 3 Christian internet dating sites. I'm also a sucker for free trial offers. 

And since everyone wants a photo, I set up my camera, turned on the self-timer to take a photo of myself while the beep . . .beep . . .beep . . .beep . . .beep . . .beep-beep-beepbeepbeepbeep gave me time to pose. 

This was me. Today. Not waiting for everything to be perfect. Being honest. But honestly, what was I thinking? Who in the world would ever want me like this? The weight I'd gained during my unhappy marriage was still there. 

Still, a picture is worth a thousand words. Or, in my case 213 words.

The following morning, I logged onto the first dating site. YOU GOT MAIL, was flashing already! Excitedly, I opened the mail.

But the Love Train's engine screeched and the train slowed to a dead stop. Jesse James had arrived.

Dear Friend in Christ,

Okay ... can you imagine how super sharp you will look when you get to a better God-honoring playing weight? Really ... were you once the homecoming queen, the sweet cute high school bombshell?

I normally never choose to interact with a woman who is more than "medium." When a man/woman is large, it suggests to me that at this stage in adult life that he/she still lacks the internal discipline to be the best he/she can be ... for God, for potential spouse.

So, dear lady ... get crankin' and take one consistent step ,after another to become that smash hit lovely woman you can be. Clearly the Lord has given you plenty of natural beauty ... why not enjoy it.

Take the necessary steps to make create and preserve time in your daily agenda to walk/exercise/reduce consumption volumes/reduce times per day that you eat and ... humble yourself and pray for God's grace and strength. Make yourself strictly accountable to a true friend who will lovingly, relentlessly hold your feet to the fire ... as you get in the fast lane toward beautiful you.

Yes ... so much more to add ... but no doubt already more than you wanted.

Godspeed, dear lady ... now, "go for it!!"
Signed, (His name)

After reading this "dear friend in Christ's" note, I was thankful. Thankful that my picture prompted a mere 213 words, and not a 1,000.

As quickly as possible, I logged into "My Account" on each of the 3 Christian dating websites. I located "Upload/Delete a Photo," then pressed the "delete" button and watched while my photos disappeared.

Then, I fought the urge to hit reply. I fought the urge to tell him how he was wrong.

 . . . I never was the homecoming queen.


  1. Love your blog! And are you kidding me? You received that response from a "Christian" guy? Wow. Nothing like giving Christian men a bad name right off the bat. I can see why you were discouraged. But don't let it get you down. You are a beautiful woman and the right guy is out there! Looking forward to following along with you on your journey!

  2. Huh. He doesn't think to take into account that there are people out there who, no matter their discipline, are "big" simply because that's where God wants them to be at this time in their lives? Honestly, this sounds to me that this guy isn't looking for a spouse to share his life with, but one to share his bed with. Ugh.

  3. Wow.
    As someone who has been on the e-dating train (several times over several years, and I even paid a few times), I say, don't waste your time or money. I met several 'men'. All of whom claimed they were Christians. These same men were liars, cheaters and yes, I did meet one beater. He even told me his exwife had taken a PPL out on him and he had not seen his kids in 10 years. That was the last straw.

    E-dating does work for some people. Just not me.

    My desire now is to just be with the LORD. I am trusting that if God has a man for me, then HE will bring him into my life. His plan is always greater than mine.
    I am content being single. That is GOOD! Paul had learned to be content, in whatever state. I am still learning. But wow, freedom rocks! Freedom to see friends 5 nights a week, buy an expensive perfume for me, give $ to God however I feel led without discussion on budget, always being available for family functions, having my nieces overnight, staying up til midnight. lol

    Occasionally, I will pray for a man in my life. The last time, know what he gave me? A small group of a married couple and two other married men to be my brothers in Christ. One is my dad's age. Two of them are huggers.

    A man stood up on Thanksgiving to give testimony about a single female missionary who would like to be married. Her goal is to be so lost in the Lord that a man has to go to God to find her.
    It was a good reminder.

    ~Traveling mercies on your journey~

  4. loved the blog - you should have replied and asked him for a full length, bare chested photo so you could disect him - you are precious and beautiful,

  5. Thanks for the support and comments.
    I appreciate the traveling mercies. So hoping it's not the same experience you've had, Glenda. Yikes.

    Stay tuned!

  6. Hmm... let's see. In the span of a few paragraphs, this STRANGER who knows nothing but a photo of you managed to 1) pretend he was giving you Godly advice and assume you were unhappy about yourself, 2) judge you as someone who is failing in discipline, 3) tell you he would not even consider dating unless you measure up to HIS idea of good and 4) couch it all in a "I'm only trying to encourage you in the name of the Lord tone." Ugh...Puleeze! All I can say is I'm so grateful that our God does not measure us the way some people who claim Christianity. He calls us... "pearl of great price," and tells us not to cast our pearls before... well, 'nuff said. Keep your heart on God's truth of who you are in Him -- if and when He brings someone to you, it will be someone who sees through our Father's eyes, no pretention!